hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize