i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
