the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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