Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
