I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
