So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
PANTIES FOUND
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