would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
