so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
my being single is dangerous.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
