I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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