i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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