Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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