Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize