what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
