This girl is more easily done than said...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
