Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
