Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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