Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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