i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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