I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
