And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I need to align my fucking chakras
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
