Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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