whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
