two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
