I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
