she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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