so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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