He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
