Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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