In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
