Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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