I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
