They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
