He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
