quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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