not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
