Even the bartender felt bad for me
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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