Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
