i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize