people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
