Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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