Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
