Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Couch. On fire.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
