I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
