So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so let's talk penis.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
