playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
