it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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