if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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