I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
