don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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