he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
