I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
