Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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