yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
