I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize