dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
