I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
