Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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