I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
