Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize