It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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