we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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