so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize