I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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