I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
