man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
