I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
