I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
