Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
