And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
