i jhust puked up my retainher.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
sarcasm needs its own font
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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