Don't you send me to vm
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize