sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
