did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
