Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
