am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize