All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
