youre lurking in front of me
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
