dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize