She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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