your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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