I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
There's even glitter on my cock...
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