She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
