I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
