I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize