So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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