Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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